I tweeted this thing earlier as a joke, but, like most jokes, there is a lot of truth to it. A few weeks ago, I said something to a friend of mine about never finding love because I’m not 6’ tall and I’m balding and she said, “I think the reason you don’t find love is because you hate everybody.” She meant that as a joke, too, but, like most jokes, etc.
I have been perceived that way for a long time, and it’s true that I am filled with a great distaste for a lot of things and people and musicals, but the reason behind it is not that I am a dick whose first impulse is to reject. My first impulse is, overwhelmingly, to accept. I just have little to no tolerance for bullshit or for people who are not, like me, prone to try their hardest to be the best person they can be in any situation. I have no patience for people who are not aware of their self and their actions and who have no understanding of the way they are perceived by other people. And, what’s more, I have no sympathy for them. As long as I am able to look you in the eye and see that you are a good, kind, loving person, I will be full of love, full of kindness, and will try my hardest to be good to you and for you.
I think knowing someone emotionally is so much more difficult than knowing them intellectually and I try to skew towards an emotional sensibility to allow other people to crack my surface (hey now!) immediately – once they have earned the right to do that by proving that I am worthy and capable of cracking their surface (so vers!).
I choose not to lie and I am almost always successful at it. Being truthful is one of the most important things in my life and I am forthright about my disability to abide people who are dishonest. A second chance should not be a given; they should be doled out sparingly and only in the most selective of circumstances – when they are warranted and necessary. And if that second chance should give way to the need for a third chance, well, you’ll find me in that 60%.
I expect the world of the world and, in a lot of ways, I set myself up for failure because of it. But I would always rather know what something or who someone is rather than having to guess or hope they’re something else. And I have no room – anywhere – for someone who reveals him- or herself to be less than extraordinary.